| Well hello abandoned place... |
[Mar. 12th, 2012|02:12 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
I have been working my ass off lately and sometimes I don't know if I could stop. I may be tired but I love this job. Sometimes I worked too hard that I realise I've lost my social life. My life now only revolves around Badoque and at home(sleeping). Yes I miss my life. I miss my bumming life so so much. I get to go out, I get to spend time with the family, I get to meet my friends and I get to meet the pretenders. But I guess this is just a sacrifice I have to and want to make. I don't wanna jeopardise my future just for my social life. Though I have my colleagues to perk and irritate my days up, sometimes I feel lonely. I feel empty inside. Don't you wish for a 9-5, 5 day week job right now? Sometimes I do. At least I could spend some time with the family or rather catch up with my friends a little bit after work. Cos by the time I'm done with work, its already late. And nobody wants to meet up so late. And when I get my off day, nobody is free to meet up. Not a single one. How pathetic is that! So I usually spend my boring off day replenishing my sleep or just stay home and get even more bored. Sigh. I guess I just have to persevere and face what I have to right now cos I know there is a huge thing planned for me already.
On top of that, I'm just sad. Sad that the lil brother had to spend his birthday playing TechDeck alone at home. No celebrations, no cakes, not even a simple dinner for him. I feel even more upset that I couldn't be at home to spend time with him just cos I had to work. Both sissy and I had to work till late and by the time we get back, they are all asleep. :'( So to pay him back for his boring birthday, I'm gonna bring the family out for dinner later today. At least something right. But I'm not sure if it's gonna be the full force cos I'm not sure what time sissy will be back from Batam. Le sigh. |
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| Damn it's true. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2011|08:28 am] |
"Eventually the fast text message responses will become slow. The long conversation will cut short. The attention they give you will become neglected. The comfort they give you will become something awkward. The time they have for you will become non existent. The feeling of being close to them will become distant."
source: i-can-read. Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone. |
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| Concerto. |
[Sep. 8th, 2011|04:09 pm] |
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I missed The Script.
I missed Avril.
I missed Silverstein.
I'm gonna miss Alesana.
I'm gonna miss Westlife.
But I'm not gonna miss my Lion King.
By hook or by crook, I need to see them by Nov. :(
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| Insomnia. |
[Jun. 26th, 2011|08:04 am] |
I finally managed to sleep more than 4 hours yesterday. I found the solution actually; crying. It makes me feel real sleepy and I can sleep longer. I guess I need to cry to sleep everyday. But how to cry everyday? :/
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone. |
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| Annoying body. |
[Jun. 21st, 2011|03:55 am] |
My body clock has gone crazy. But the weird thing is, I can't get myself to sleep even in the day. No matter how I try to just lie down, close my eyes and not think, I can't. It drains the shit out of me and it's making me as paranoid as ever. And once I fall asleep, I'll only manage to sleep for 2-4 hours. Makes me crazy that I can't sleep cos I love sleeping so much. Fuck! This pisses me off. Am going to see the doctor soon to fix this. :( Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone. |
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| I wish... |
[Jun. 14th, 2011|05:46 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  numb | ] |
To get into an accident.
Banged by a car or lorry.
To know how painful it is.
That pain definitely beats heartaches.
To jump of a cliff.
To feel that adrenaline rush.
To know how it feels like jumping off a building
knowing my life's at stake.
To get bitten by a poisonous snake.
To feel the venom under my skin,
how it could just kill within minutes.
To get walloped by a group of hooligans.
To feel how torturous it is being helpless.
Not knowing if I'm gonna make it alive the next morning.
To be away from my family and loved ones.
To learn how to yearn for their presence each day.
Not knowing if they'd feel the same.
And to learn that when I needed someone so badly,
but they can never ever be there.
To see them when I'm dead.
To know the pain or guilt
when they are grieving badly.
Or even when they're not.
I wish... I had the courage.
Which I don't, with the strong front that I put up with. |
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